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Star. IRC is the Only Viable Chat Protocol
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About Me

Markovka IRC Bot Documentation


Last updated on 11 October 2022. Now with a changelog!

This is a basic summary of available commands for Markovka, the all-purpose chat-bot that lives on the KoshkaIRC IRC server (irc.koshka.love). Markovka's main homes are the official network channels # and #speakez, but she joins other channels as requested as well.

Markovka is built on top of the Sadface Markov Chain Chatbot, but also features a growing number of functions that Koshka added in, enough that he felt it was time to document them somewhere. Her chatbot functionality utilises Markov chains to produce (usually incoherent but occasionally shockingly intelligent) responses to other people's remarks. She responds to both her name and the word "bot", but can and will also speak up on her volition. Her ever-growing brain, which she pulls her vocabulary from, consists of both IRC logs from channels she resides in along with assorted classical literature.

Markovka's name is a pun on her primary nature as a Markov chatbot, and is also the Russian word for "carrot".

Current Features and Commands

Star. !attn <username> <message> Saves a message for another person and sends it to them in private the next time they are active. This is a backup for MemoServ's superior functionality, primarily for users who don't register their names and thus cannot use MemoServ. Users are limited to five unsent postponed messages from their connection at a time.
Star. !choose <variable 1> or ... or <final variable>
!choice <variable 1> or ... or <final variable>
Randomly chooses between one of the variables that is presented. Requires a minimum of two variables in order to work (obviously).
Star. !<what to detect>dar <what to check> A parody of the (relatively) infamous !gaydar script for mIRC. Can be used to randomly detect the percentage of anything in anyone or anything. A few completely random examples being "!tastydar chacarero" and "!brokendar Markovka". There is a custom radar named '!catdar'.
Star. !join <channel> Joins a channel. Only works for users from approved hosts.
Star. !remind <time> <reminder> Sets a reminder for bot to notify you about after the specified amount of time. The time should be in the format xy, where x is a number, and y is the unit of time (s for seconds, m for minutes, h for hours). Two examples are '!remind 3m tea' and '!remind 1h laundry'. Users are limited to five active reminders at a time.
Star. !quote add <quote> Adds an IRC quote to bot's database. Only authentic and amusing IRC quotes should be entered. Markovka's database is periodically cleansed of fake or irrelevant quotes. Currently only supports adding quotes of a single line.
Star. !quote read <number> Presents the selected quote, if it exists, along with the name of the person who submitted it and how long ago it was submitted (for contexual reasons).
Star. !quote random Presents a random quote from bot's quotes database.
Star. !rss <name> Checks RSS feeds of webmasters who visit KoshkaIRC. Eventually, Markovka will check RSS feeds multiple times a day on her own and make announcements when updates occur, although this function will still be present.
Star. Should I <question>
I wonder if <question>
Basically a magical eight-ball functionality that can help one make a decision.
Star. <URL> Bot can read and relay the titles of most webpages back to the chatroom.

Tentative Future Plans (no promises!!!)

  • Microsoft Comic Chat functionality (adopting an avatar and emoting/posing as she speaks in #ComicChat).
  • RSS feed checker for websites.
  • Option to display remaining time for all current reminders.
  • Calculator.
  • Weather checker.
  • Function to add multi-line quotes
  • Poll voting

Changelog

11 October 2022 - Did a number of "quality of life" updates. The bot now only keeps a maximum of five active unsent postponed messages and untriggered reminders per user at a time to prevent flooding. Additionally, postponed messages are now sent in private. Also, incorporated this page into the KoshkaIRC website section.

26 July 2022 - Added a function to check the RSS feeds of webmasters who visit KoshkaIRC and whose sites contain RSS feeds. Eventually, hopefully, Markovka will check sites on her own and make updates when there are updates.

05 July 2022 - Finally added the "!quote random" function, which allows for having Markovka present a random quote from her database. Also modified the "!quote add" function to notify what number has been assigned to the quote, for future reference. This brings Markovka's quotes functionality roughly up to the level of Rizon's Quotes bot. Also fixed a silly glitch that caused Markovka to respond to lines containing words that contain the word "bot", such as "both". Also added this changelog to make it easier to track updates.

Don't forget that you can also use MemoServ for sending private "letters" to other registered users, and HostServ to set a custom VHost for yourself! These bots are not in any channels but can be privately messaged at your convenience. You will need to register your nick with NickServ. Multiple registered nicks can be linked together via the NickServ "group" command.